Should we settle..?
So we're thirty something. Some SISTAH's feeling the clock ticking. There's a really nice guy, good values, with a good job who seems to adore every aspect of you. He brings the flowers on valentine's, is always home waiting for your phone call and willing to take you shopping, lime with your firends and go to the "girlie" movies. Just one problem .... He doesn't ring your bells!!! A roll in the sack is amazing once you fantasize about Denzel or Wesley! What do we do SISTAHs?? Well I could tell you in my twenties this was a no brainer - kick the guy to the curb! Somehow these days, without my even noticing it, my standards seem to be creeping downward. Maybe we could try tantric sex.... its all in the mind :). Why is it that as we get older our standards seem to get lower. For me, though I flirt with the idea of settling I know that I wont. Its just not in my make up. I know that there is a wonderful man out there who will have my bells chiming all the way to the church - (just haven't met any lately) but Im holding out for one. Am I being immature, naive? What do you think SISTAHs?
posted by Margaret Rose @ 5:33 AM
4 Comments:
Hi wickedwisdom, thanks for your comment. I tried to find your profile or your blog but couldn't. Tell me about you..
Hey wicked, seems like we're on the same "journey". Have you checked out my other blog http://www.emmanueljourney.blogspot.com , you might be into some of the stuff on there and we can exchange ideas
I agree with you fully on this one xxlyn. Certainly if you feel a particular way about a man and by and large you know that there is a deep connection and this man loves you - but he is not perfect in some way - you can forgive and work at it. But what if the man on paper objectively has everything you're looking for BUT HE DOESN'T RING YOUR BELLS??? should we try to make it work? should we hold on to the hope that love will grow? Should we love the one we're with as opposed to being with the one we love? In short should we settle?
Sistahs!!!! Greetings and salutations!!! I come in peace .I am not a sistah, but I think that I might offer some insight from a man's pov that might be helpful.
First and foremost, sistahs need to stop treating the relationship process like a job interview! If men did the same to you , there would be many a sistahs that would not get the callback.
Second...Sistahs need to realize that no one is perfect. Did you see Denzel before he got his teeth fixed? Perfection is a concept , not a standard!
Next(I lost count)....sistahs need to realize that if their bell is not ringing, maybe their bell is broken!What do you do if your toaster does not work? You don't go and blame the bread.In other words, you might be the cause of your bell not ringing!
Fourth, If you are waiting for Denzel or Wesley or even Tay , just remember that they might not be waiting for you !!So ,if you are 4'6" don't just look for someone who's 6'4". If you are missing your right leg , try a brother that has his left one, that way you both can hold hands hopping down the street..together!!
And lastly, ....well I don't have a lastly , but I just want to reiterate that if you feel that you are doing someone a favor, don't be disappointed if you get nothing in return!!
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